The ObserverLife and styleA sizeable question
Everything you ever wanted to know about sex, but were too squeamish to ask'I am an 18-year-old with a serious issue about my penis size. My friends say a normal penis is 7 to 8in when erect, but mine is only 6in. Am I on the small side?'
Sebastian Horsley
As I'm sure you have heard, I have an unfeasibly large penis. I wouldn't want to tell you exactly what size (your girlfriend might leave you). Let's just say by nature all men are equal in liberty, but not in other endowments.
Did you believe that? Me neither. Men lie about three things: money, women and penis size - oh, and everything else. They all want to be one of the few males who cause penis envy in men as well as women.
So, first things first: your 'friends'. You must always listen to your friends' criticisms of your performance. If they make sense, change your performance. If they don't make sense, change your friends. Yours are being very naughty, so they've got it coming. If you want enemies, excel others; if you want friends, let others excel you.
Here's the facts: your penis is completely average size and you have nothing to worry about. Ron Jeremy, the famous porn star, is said to have the biggest blue-veined custard chucker of them all. The size when erect? Nine inches. Is that penis genius or heinous? Certainly any thing bigger would be rather confusing and unwieldy.
And as for the smallest? Talk about giving a woman an inch. This is not you. You are not hung like an insect. So give it up. Size is only one of the most potent weapons in a man's inexhaustible arsenal of seduction. The others are wit, wisdom, beauty, style, charisma, chutzpah. Wit is the most effective. The tongue is the only weapon that gets sharper with use.
Always remember: unless extreme, size has very little to do with it. I hope this placates your fears. Have fun, relax, and put what you have to work for you. I expect your cock to enjoy an international reputation by the time you hit 21.
Marion McBride
Friends can be so unhelpful. Don't listen to them - the average is around 6 to 8in and the variation seems to lie in where you measure from - topside or underside. Some chaps probably start halfway up their backs. Of course, there are exceptions at both ends of the range, but I doubt your friends are waving around anything larger.
Everyone says that size doesn't matter. Well, it does and, then again, within the fairly elastic standard parameters, it doesn't. On the plus side, there's the undeniable wow factor at the moment of unveiling. But the good news is this is mostly gift-wrapping. Girth is as significant as length, and it's what you do with it that counts. Yes, it can bestow great pleasure, but those men who set such store by their supposedly massive erections often overlook the fact that, for many women, it isn't the most important piece of kit in the room. Lips, fingers, passion, patience and willingness to learn are equally vital. And if your lack of confidence urges you to overcompensate in these areas, so much the better. That's what makes you a good lover. Not brandishing the beast and then sitting back signing autographs.
Also bear in mind that the length before arousal bears no relation to the size when erect. The only thing a large, resting member is any good for is strutting around the changing room at the gym without your trolleys on. If it's women that you want to impress, by the time you get to the final reveal they've already decided they want to sleep with you - they are not going to stop and get their rulers out.
Anecdotally, they are more likely to baulk at the overly well endowed on the grounds of comfort - not gasp in wonder. A larger-than-average penis is no guarantee of happiness.
Love yourself as you are. Don't measure your worth in fractions of inches. Any woman who makes sizest comments is not orth your time, or your talents.
ยท If you have a question for Sebastian and Marion, email sex@observer.co.uk
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